discussion on ???racism???: a serious post

Disclaimer-- I am a Filipino/white girl and I choose solely to speak for myself and no one else.

With that aside, I've been concerned with how much racism and cultural appropriation has been touching the media lately, especially since these topics are obviously very sensitive yet not discussed enough.

Today in my media class, my teacher lectured on oblivion and racism during the 1920's, and how things like blackface were considered to be "mere entertainment" during that time. She then showed us clips from The Jazz Singer, a very popular talkie movie during the 1920's where a Jewish man (Al Jolson) puts on a blackface and sings and dances and yada yada.

Al Jolson

These kinds of racist antics have been rid of for over 80 years now, yet I still felt a wave of discomfort and disgust when watching clips from this film. How could people have been so easily accepting of the mockery of an oppressed race? I'm not trying to sound like some kind of martyr who doesn't see fault in my prejudice slips, but you gotta wonder.

Afterwards, she opened the class up for discussion. "It's good we've progressed and racism isn't so blatantly present today." My classmates quickly began to speak up and object against her statement. One guy brought up Miley Cyrus at the VMAs as an example. Although it's pretty sad, pretty much EVERYONE right now has some background knowledge of this incident-- probably even more so than they do of what's going on in Syria right now (what issss goin on in Syria?!). 

On a totally different subject, I whole-heartedly respect Miley for her performance. She got the exact reaction she wanted and forced everyone to see that she was completely done with her childhood image. 

On this current subject, I cannot whatsoever applaud Miley Cyrus on her sudden interest in black culture and her poor attempts to try and "practice" these "FADS." An ethnic lifestyle is not a fad. 

I mean, she literally used black people as PROPS. I don't think that needs any further explanation...

The saddest part about all of this? The girl can't even twerk.
(Joking, not really the saddest part.)

For the longest time I have chosen to ignore anything related to Lana Del Rey simply for petty reasons that lead to me just not being interested in her work. But I've recently come across an article somewhere discussing the origin of the stage name "Lana Del Rey" and how it romanticizes a latin-sounding name even though, typically, people are profiled immediately for that anywhere else. This issue only bothers me slightly, it's not something to really get boiled over about. So the name sounds pretty, it suits her, alright. So then I finally see this Ride music video everyone seems to be freaking out about because Lana sports a headdress in it, for what I believe, seem to be for aesthetic purposes.

Even if she is trying to symbolize bravery/honor/etc (I admittedly do not know much about what exactly different headdresses symbolize), this whole Native American-turned trend has been being fueled for quite a while now, so to try and distinguish just-a-trend between significant-meaning is kind of a bad excuse.

Nonetheless, as my opinions towards this lingered after class, one of my classmates and I began to talk about the Lana Del Rey situation over girls' room bonding. She too was a bit uncomfortable about the whole use of a headdress as a garment, being part Native American herself. She mentioned that she brought this up to her grandmother, who she views as a pretty traditional Native American. She said that her grandmother reacted kind of nonchalantly, seeming to not be bothered by it at all. So I wonder, and want to hopefully discuss with someone who reflects the same feelings as this grandmother, why or how can these things be ignored? I figured maybe it was because appropriation has sort of morphed into this norm over the past few years so many of us have become numb to it.

Then I thought more about the idea of just accepting these faults. Maybe it's not that people are tolerating the media for what they have been told are "right" portrayals, but more so people ARE being aware and seeing these flaws but are choosing to accept that the media and our stars have their flaws and are hopefully working to recognize and fix them.

It's not about being hateful and closed-off towards all and any misdemeanors that are broadcasted to us daily. Honestly, a lot of shit in this world is offensive no matter what. We just have to be smart about it. I'm starting to learn that it's more about just constantly being CONSCIOUS of what can be offensive and how it can be, doing what I can to keep from further perpetuating that which IS strongly offensive (racist, sexist, whateverist), and to always keep the discussion going. It's easy to forget sometimes that these are pretty sensitive subjects we're talking about here and that every voice on these matters is important.

I have repeatedly found myself so aggressively glued to my opinion and my opinion only that it's just transformed into a hateful mess. That's where progress always seems to stop.

So sure, Lady Gaga's cool. She makes rad music; she is a big inspiration to the LGBT community. But when she does something like this:

Burqa Swag: totally inappropriate on a whole new level; we're using a religious garment now to represent repressed sexuality-- cool. 

It's important to know that this is not okay. It's important to consume wisely and to question the motives behind things like this.

Lady Gaga is well-known for making dramatic fashion statements that have so far been accepted and celebrated as trends over the past few years. But when a burqa is presented and sort of marketed towards us as some kind of sexy, alluring piece of LINGERIE, it's anyone's right to call that shit out.

Calling shit out and talking about it: the stuff America should be made of goddammit.

movin' along

First, a favorite song right now:

Hi! Life is pretty much opening new doors for me and such right now (I'M IN COLLEGE?) so I've been somewhat busy trying to organize the beautiful mess around me which has been consisting of, moving out of my parents' home, adjusting to living in the city, going to school, trying to find a job, and  still trying to have fun/be social/whatever.

I recently moved to Santa Monica with my friend Mariano to be nearer to school. So far, I've had very little use of my car, since students at Santa Monica College get free bus rides (this makes me extremely happy). Although I've eased up on my gas usage, I am still being fully supported by my parents financially to live in this here ol apartment, so it's still something I'm struggling with-- especially when I'm trying to claim myself as an """independent college student.""" But for those of us in the same circumstance right now, we all know this is an almost impossible feat during our first few years in the REAL WORLD.

A tolerable, cozy place for cozy people :-)

My sexy ass roommate who gets bottom bunk.. :/

Summer 2k13 was good to me. I can say this fully satisfied because I got to ride up to Oakland to end my very last summer before college. My friends Celina, Alek, and I stocked up on snacks and edibles to prepare ourselves for the seven hour bus ride to the bay. It sounds like a pain in the ass, but considering that the bus was a double decker (never been on one before) and that there was FREE WIFI I really did not have much to argue with.

I got to finally see my friend Ned in his beautiful, physical form after not having seen him in a year! This is me actually toning down my overly-enthusiastic feelings about all of this-- I had missed him dearly. There is a reason why the term "crucial homies" exist and Ned is it. 

Ned basking in the glorious Oakland summer sun.

My four days there were fabulously spent catching up on old times, Netflixing our nights away, scootering all over Haight & Ashbury, and cruising around Piedmont for fish tacos and good sushi. Oh, and having one terrible public transportation encounter where my friends and I were threatened, but anyways San Francisco is FAB. No sarcasm, I truly to think San Francisco is an amazing place and wouldn't mind going back one or two or nineteen times.

A gloomy day at Golden Gate Park trying to find acid, but not succeeding.

West Oakland.

My first day of school was officially yesterday, and before then, I had been obsessively searching up really cliche and basic college tips to try and calm my anxieties about the first day. Like, what kind of supplies do you need, where do you go when you need this or that, HOW DO YOU EVEN MAKE FRIENDS??? 

After hours of rereading the same articles telling me how to avoid the Freshman 15, I came across a fresh n' lovely "Sad Girls Guide to: College." I'm going to college. I am a sad girl. This article was written for ME.  

I wish more things were written like this: honest, humorous, and extremely relatable-- not like some weird WikiHow search that tries to teach you how to DO college in like, 6 steps. You know? Anyways, I'm very much looking forward to more Sad Girls Guides, hopefully one comes some time soon that teaches me how to make some goddamn friends. I'm joking though, I made a friend on the bus today. We talked about Miley Cyrus... which, in all honesty, deserves an entirely separate post from this one. Oy vey.

The fact that summer is over throws me off a little, it was so good! There were so many night spent being drunk waiting for boys to call and so many more nights getting stoned and eating snacks! Goodbye summer.

My friend Max's wall.

Snacks on snacks.

I'm going to start journaling my exact feelings and thoughts during my first few weeks of college because, honestly, this is kind of a big turning point in my life and it'd be cool if it didn't end up a blur. 

I'm also going to start listing and writing about some of my weekly favorite things, whether it's lipstick, or microwavable late-night food. 

stickers on faces, and then some

So it's 11pm and it's been an extremely emotionally exhausting day and I'm currently listening to Keaton Henson's newish album, Birthdays-- which is really probably not a good idea because it's making me feel like I need to go to therapy again. The kind of music that's sad and sweet and anxiety inducing in a really refreshing way, if there is such a kind.

"If you must die, sweetheart, die knowing your life was my life's best part." Oy, the heart strings, they's a tuggin'.

Speaking of sad music, I made an "emo" playlist the other day! Emo, in parenthesis, because I understand that there can often be a joking/exaggerated stigma attached to emo culture, and that original emo music (Cap'n Jazz, I Hate Myself, Sunny Day Real Estate) is distinctly different than what is considered emo today (Say Anything, Taking Back Sunday, Saves The Day, etc) -- which is what my playlist consists of. It'll bring ya back to middle school and your self-loathing roots, trust.

emo :-) from obscuura on 8tracks Radio.

I took a very spontaneous trip to Amoeba Records today by myself, brought on by my angsty, pissed-off teenage self thinking, "FUCK EVERYONE I'M JUST GONNA DISAPPEAR FOR A FEW DAYS AND LIVE OFF OF FOUR DOLLARS AND CIGARETTES FUCK IT," but I'm home now and I guess this is how all of those stories end, right?

On the bright side I came home with a few purchases: Spring Breakers and Glen or Glenda on DVD, and this Sonic Youth tshirt:

I haven't bought a band shirt in a very long time so I'm very excited about this purchase.

The other day some friends and I did a photoshoot themed around the idea of "mystical beings." This consisted of other-wordly makeup, goddess-like dresses, and STICKERS ON FACES: my favorite part... because, stickers on faces.

M y S t I c A l ~

Skirt: Buffalo Exchange ; Dress (underneath): Antique store. I'm actually in love with the full dress, it's length goes down to about the same as the skirt, I'll have a picture next time! But I'm pretty sure the tag said it was a lingerie piece from the 40's-50's, it's super delicate and it's already starting to tear, which makes me weep.

Collar: Etsy. STICKERS on ma face <3 Makeup done by the mega babely Joana, below.

The mastermind behind this photoshoot, Joana, at http://electricalbeing.blogspot.com. Ah, also, observe observe observe her elf-like makeup! So rad.

Tree climbin', shoes shinin'. Someone referred to these sneakers as """unicorn shoes""" from Urban Outfitters.

Both my wide brim hat and hand stickers are from the Dollar Tree! So many cool things there, so proud to say they were only a dollar!

This photoshoot was incredibly fun and I can't wait to do more with these lovely gals in the near future. If you have any suggestions of photoshoot themes for us, then let me know!<3 Deuces <3

hot hot summer

So I thought I'd take the time to finally do a post on SUMMER VIBES and how I feel exactly about summer in general.

I realize that summer is kind of a lot of peoples' favorite time of the year-- since it's often associated with parties, vacations, teenage freedom, and more. Honestly though, I've always romanticized summer during times of the year when it WASN'T around, dreaming about hot fudge sundaes and sitting on rooftops at odd hours of the night-- but when summer actually does come rolling around, my fantasies turn into realities I eventually come to loathe: body image insecurities, always being broke, and being consumed by Netflix from dusk til dawn (which really isn't a bad thing... to me, I think.)

So the point is, I really don't dig summer all that much. I am infatuated with summer NIGHTS, but summer in general... not so much. I personally tend to associate summer with images of loneliness and longing: a 15 year old girl sitting at the curb of a gas station late at night, waiting for a van full of strangers to come pick her up to take her to god knows where. I also like to associate summer with images of a bustling world and unapologetic recklessness. Three friends sneaking into their old high school to get drunk and climb trees. Cops are in sight and they hop the fence into someone's backyard. They take a swim in the person's pool for a bit.

Summer can be pretty for a lot of people. It can be daisies in your hair, lemonade on your patio, and taking naps in the backseat of a car on the way to Arizona.

It can also be pretty rough around the edges for a lot of people. Summer is fast food bags at the bottom of your car (a.k.a me), bleeding at a punk show but crowd surfing anyways, and digging through the bottom of your purse to try and find the five dollar bill you could've sworn you had in there.

All in all, summer is what you choose to make of it. Whatever choice that may be, doesn't necessarily have to be the "wrong" one. If you want to spend your summer making it a goal to watch all of the movies in the romantic comedy section on Netflix, then all power to you! If you want to spend your summer hanging out with strangers in strange places with strange herbs, then all power to you (as long as you're safe I guess).

Just remember to not romanticize summer as this one, sole image that you expect yourself to live through. It isn't, it can be anything you want it to be and you can associate anything you want to with it.

A friend showed me this video almost a year ago and it made me pretty uncomfortable, in a good way (if there is one). It's an example of how the thought-to-be pretty aspects of summer can indeed turn raunchy and very, very weird.




Here's a mix I made earlier today filled with glorious, dreamy summer songs!!! Listen to it as you browse through the following pictures.

HOT hot SUmMeR from obscuura on 8tracks Radio.

And here are a few photos that I found lurking on the ~internet~ that I think are perfect with associating my feelings towards summer:

what's in my purse + summa outfit

Wow, hi! It has been a quite a while. I've been doing extremely poorly with keeping up consistent blog-posting, and I'm frustrated with myself because of it because I know I like to write so I don't know why I've been so M.I.A recently. I don't want to write too much though because I've made an almost 10-minute video on WHAT'S IN MY PURSE. It sounds ridiculous and it's not something I would normally imagine myself doing, but hell, why not. I can be a YOUTUBE GIRL too, right?

Anyways, please excuse the weird jittery noises my camera makes in the majority of this video, it's just the lens focusing. And excuse my deep voice, I actually really hate it.




Whoooot yay to my first ever (serious blogging sort of) youtube video! I hope you all liked it and could hear through my anxious mumbling. I kind of want to make more videos, considering this one was surprisingly pretty fun, but I'm not sure what I'd do one on so if you have any suggestions, please please please let me know <3

Here's my outfit (on the same day this video was made) that is themed: "Favorite Summer Go-To's," for lack of a better category.

My obsession with lingerie has lingered on for quite a while now. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what draws me to it so much. See-through, lacy garments aren't a BIG THANG nowadays-- so I think it's simply the act of wearing what is socially SUPPOSED to be something worn only during private, intimate, vulnerable moments for a female in public that makes me love lingerie. 

Everything I'm wearing here is thrifted!

Gold bone earrings - Internets (Etsy)

Polka dot socks - Forever 21
Shoes - Buffalo Exchange

Here is a photo of the ever sick-ass Miles, as promised:

And check out my cousin, Joana! Here's a photo from her blog of her channeling Mulan:

http://electricalbeing.blogspot.com

I guess that's all for now! But before I go, I just wanted to mention that I've been spending a crazy amount of time lately on the internet doing these two things: 1. Reading random tumblr blogs on feminism/white feminism/racism/GLBTQ community/etc to try and educate myself from a relatable perspective on all of these topics. And 2. Watching beauty guru/fashion youtube videos.

For the first thing, I've only been reading a good two or three blogs and have been searching for something more, I guess, fresh, and inspired so if anyone has some favorite blogs out there tackling any of those topics, please suggest them to me!

And as for the second thing, even though I find myself hypnotized and compelled by all of these videos, I can't help but to feel like they get extremely redundant at some point and that something about making a youtube video for viewers forces some sort of routine in the way these youtubers talk/interact with the camera and it gets sort of creepy at some point.... I guess what I'm asking is, if anyone knows any fashion vloggers on youtube who just hypnotizes them in a way (where it doesn't eventually get creepy, idk) then suggest those to me too!

Okay, that's all, thanks.

don't call me lana del rey.

Guess what, ladies and gents?! My zine is complete! But before I get too riled up about it, I have yet to figure out how my scanner and Mac are going to coexist so I have yet to reveal it online! I will though, soon, I promise.

If you would like a physical copy though, feel free to email me your address and I will gladly send you one! My email is sammjcs@yahoo.com. I only have a limited amount left, so, yeah.

For now, here is a quick wittle outfit post.

Flower crown - Claire's (sorry bout it)
Blouse - Buffalo Exchange
Skirt - Goodwill
Tights - Retro Reload
Shoes - (Steve Madden!) Crossroads

I'm recovering from being really sick last week so please excuse my tired face. I always look tired. I was born tired maybe.  Not to brag about California weather... but... god the weather has been so fucking DIVINE lately. It was 75 degrees today, beautiful beautiful beautiful! I can't wait for the rest of the week. Ah, speaking of the rest of this week, my prom is this Friday! I can't believe it's finally come, it's all so overwhelming and exhilarating simultaneously. I've picked up my ~dream~ prom dress, here's a lil look at it before I get dolled up wearing it.

It's pretty simple at a glance, but I am more than satisfied with the pixie esque look of it. It's such a charming sea green/baby blue hue, all tulle from top to bottom, I'm in love. 

Okay, well that's all for now. More updates sooooon. Goodnight all.