stickers on faces, and then some

So it's 11pm and it's been an extremely emotionally exhausting day and I'm currently listening to Keaton Henson's newish album, Birthdays-- which is really probably not a good idea because it's making me feel like I need to go to therapy again. The kind of music that's sad and sweet and anxiety inducing in a really refreshing way, if there is such a kind.

"If you must die, sweetheart, die knowing your life was my life's best part." Oy, the heart strings, they's a tuggin'.

Speaking of sad music, I made an "emo" playlist the other day! Emo, in parenthesis, because I understand that there can often be a joking/exaggerated stigma attached to emo culture, and that original emo music (Cap'n Jazz, I Hate Myself, Sunny Day Real Estate) is distinctly different than what is considered emo today (Say Anything, Taking Back Sunday, Saves The Day, etc) -- which is what my playlist consists of. It'll bring ya back to middle school and your self-loathing roots, trust.

emo :-) from obscuura on 8tracks Radio.

I took a very spontaneous trip to Amoeba Records today by myself, brought on by my angsty, pissed-off teenage self thinking, "FUCK EVERYONE I'M JUST GONNA DISAPPEAR FOR A FEW DAYS AND LIVE OFF OF FOUR DOLLARS AND CIGARETTES FUCK IT," but I'm home now and I guess this is how all of those stories end, right?

On the bright side I came home with a few purchases: Spring Breakers and Glen or Glenda on DVD, and this Sonic Youth tshirt:

I haven't bought a band shirt in a very long time so I'm very excited about this purchase.

The other day some friends and I did a photoshoot themed around the idea of "mystical beings." This consisted of other-wordly makeup, goddess-like dresses, and STICKERS ON FACES: my favorite part... because, stickers on faces.

M y S t I c A l ~

Skirt: Buffalo Exchange ; Dress (underneath): Antique store. I'm actually in love with the full dress, it's length goes down to about the same as the skirt, I'll have a picture next time! But I'm pretty sure the tag said it was a lingerie piece from the 40's-50's, it's super delicate and it's already starting to tear, which makes me weep.

Collar: Etsy. STICKERS on ma face <3 Makeup done by the mega babely Joana, below.

The mastermind behind this photoshoot, Joana, at http://electricalbeing.blogspot.com. Ah, also, observe observe observe her elf-like makeup! So rad.

Tree climbin', shoes shinin'. Someone referred to these sneakers as """unicorn shoes""" from Urban Outfitters.

Both my wide brim hat and hand stickers are from the Dollar Tree! So many cool things there, so proud to say they were only a dollar!

This photoshoot was incredibly fun and I can't wait to do more with these lovely gals in the near future. If you have any suggestions of photoshoot themes for us, then let me know!<3 Deuces <3

hot hot summer

So I thought I'd take the time to finally do a post on SUMMER VIBES and how I feel exactly about summer in general.

I realize that summer is kind of a lot of peoples' favorite time of the year-- since it's often associated with parties, vacations, teenage freedom, and more. Honestly though, I've always romanticized summer during times of the year when it WASN'T around, dreaming about hot fudge sundaes and sitting on rooftops at odd hours of the night-- but when summer actually does come rolling around, my fantasies turn into realities I eventually come to loathe: body image insecurities, always being broke, and being consumed by Netflix from dusk til dawn (which really isn't a bad thing... to me, I think.)

So the point is, I really don't dig summer all that much. I am infatuated with summer NIGHTS, but summer in general... not so much. I personally tend to associate summer with images of loneliness and longing: a 15 year old girl sitting at the curb of a gas station late at night, waiting for a van full of strangers to come pick her up to take her to god knows where. I also like to associate summer with images of a bustling world and unapologetic recklessness. Three friends sneaking into their old high school to get drunk and climb trees. Cops are in sight and they hop the fence into someone's backyard. They take a swim in the person's pool for a bit.

Summer can be pretty for a lot of people. It can be daisies in your hair, lemonade on your patio, and taking naps in the backseat of a car on the way to Arizona.

It can also be pretty rough around the edges for a lot of people. Summer is fast food bags at the bottom of your car (a.k.a me), bleeding at a punk show but crowd surfing anyways, and digging through the bottom of your purse to try and find the five dollar bill you could've sworn you had in there.

All in all, summer is what you choose to make of it. Whatever choice that may be, doesn't necessarily have to be the "wrong" one. If you want to spend your summer making it a goal to watch all of the movies in the romantic comedy section on Netflix, then all power to you! If you want to spend your summer hanging out with strangers in strange places with strange herbs, then all power to you (as long as you're safe I guess).

Just remember to not romanticize summer as this one, sole image that you expect yourself to live through. It isn't, it can be anything you want it to be and you can associate anything you want to with it.

A friend showed me this video almost a year ago and it made me pretty uncomfortable, in a good way (if there is one). It's an example of how the thought-to-be pretty aspects of summer can indeed turn raunchy and very, very weird.




Here's a mix I made earlier today filled with glorious, dreamy summer songs!!! Listen to it as you browse through the following pictures.

HOT hot SUmMeR from obscuura on 8tracks Radio.

And here are a few photos that I found lurking on the ~internet~ that I think are perfect with associating my feelings towards summer:

i put a spell on you and now you're mine.

I absolutely fall in love with everything and anything fall/halloween/MY BIRTHDAY IN NOVEMBER related so now that it's september (and even though it's still hot as balls) I am filled with utter excitement and other emotions that probably don't have a word to describe how great the amount of LOVE/admiration/giddiness is inside of me. Wow, that was a whole sentence.

Anyways, I've been so inspired lately by all things Halloween-- specifically in the witchcraft category and overall supernatural spookiness in general! Here is a post dedicated to witchery and spiritual loveliness and autumn vibes.... In my mind.

Tavi Gevinson.

1940's Halloween pin-up girls.

Hocus Pocus babes. Loving Mary's hair and SJP's corsetted dress <3

Unknown. But still, the haunting chills this gives me is exactly what's been inspiring me this month...

A very sleazy looking psychic shop, just the way I like em.

Unknown. But again, there's something so intensely supernatural and soft about this.  So beautiful.

Unknown. Like a goth Tokyo babydoll.

Unknown.  I've spent many nights driving home by myself being spooked from having just done the Ouija board or coming from ghost hunting. This reminds me of those nights. 

Unknown. Reminds me of a Victorian cult member and I don't know why. 

Unknown. How do you survive the fall season without being nostalgic almost 24/7? Um, you don't.

Unknown. She puts a spell on me and now I'm hers.

The Craft. I finally saw it, well, at least the middle and end. I'm deeply in love with Nancy's wicked character. The other magical babes don't stand a chance. She adds spunk to the dark, melancholic archetype that is witchcraft.

waiting a million years, just for us.

Excuse me while I fall asleep and dream about Australian babes disappearing into eternal bliss...

I've learned to accept and love the ambiguity some movies force us to interpret on our own. This actually use to bother me quite a lot, back when I was a Hollywood-driven movie-goer who desperately required concrete characters, concrete emotions, a beginning, a middle, and a reasonable end.. to every movie. Picnic At Hanging Rock seems to capture the opposite of all of these things, with the addition of being beautiful in cinematography on its own. This movie seems to draw two separate, very distinct crowds: those who are either in love with the soft creepiness and abstract detailing of events, or those who are livid with the boring tale they watch and see no more than pretty pictures and an unsatisfactory story line. It's almost a bit funny how drastic these two ends of the spectrum coexist from each other. PAHR is a movie I'd probably love a lot more if I'd seen it BEFORE Virgin Suicides, and I hate saying that because it's just so great. But I can't seem to pull myself away from how much these two films relate to one another. Obviously, PAHR is a lot more poetic and Virgin Suicides can be a lot more symbolic. Either way, I've been drawing inspiration lately from  PAHR, not only from the visuals and eerie vibes its haunted me with, but with this soft understanding and ambiguous way of interpreting supernatural occurrences I've categorized in my life.

"What we see and what we seem are but a dream, a dream within a dream."

movies n stuff

There is a little bit more than a week left until I go "study" film and video at the California Institute of the Arts and as I've said before, I've been really trying to turn into a cool film kid by watching as many interesting-looking films as possible, aside from the ones that have been coming out of theaters that are just for mere entertainment (no offense Seth McFarlane, Ted was pretty good.). Wow, that was a whole sentence. Anyways, here are a few mini reviews of the movies I have watched so far!!!!!! Yayayayayaya.

Dogtooth.

- First of all, let me just say, I'm kind of a big sucker for films that try to warp the ideas and structures presented in the archetypal "normal" life, so I liked Dogtooth instantly. It is a bit slow, and it is not an entertaining film to see over and over again... maybe just once or twice. Because it's haunting. I remember when I first watched The Virgin Suicides and I thought, "wow that was literally a really boring movie and Kristen Dunst gets way too much credit for being hot etc etc etc," but afterwards, I started to like it more and more because of the AFTER feeling it gave me. It was haunting, it gave me the chills, it left me with this air of mystery that I was actually content with. That is almost exactly how Dogtooth made me feel. The characters were each so equally bizarre because of their forced innocence and wandering curiosity. And the way it was filmed-- plain-looking, bland, toned down-- just helped contribute to the haunting mystery this film gave off.

Eyes Wide Shut.

- Maybe it was because I hadn't seen a Stanley Kubrick film before and I wasn't used to his style, or maybe it's just because this film is far too """adult""" for me, because I ended up not liking it as much as I had hoped. I actually don't know what to say about this film yet because I think I need to watch it once more to even understand how I feel about it. Is there something I'm not getting, or?

We Need To Talk About Kevin.

- Aesthetically, this film reminded me a lot of Dogtooth because of it's saturated visuals and haunting camera angles, I guess. Tilda Swinton was amazing. John C. Reily, I couldn't take seriously. Ezra Miller was a hotty. I was really looking forward to this film. I'd been wanting to see it since it came out in theaters and every time  I went to my local DVD store it was always OUT. Gah. Anyways, I really liked this film up to the end. Yes, it was one of those films with a sort of flawed ending that ultimately ruined the whole experience of events leading up to the ending. I guess I expected more, something that went deeper into the surface and really tore apart the two characters, Kevin and Eva. It was one of the movies that meticulously delved into a chilling background, detail after detail, struggling emotion after struggling emotion, and eventually led up to something sort of mundane and rushed. Eh. Nonetheless, I still really loved the acting and music. 

things that have been inspiring me lately.