robert and hair

Hi! This post is going to be really quick because I've been really busy with real life and overwhelmed with dumb senior stuff. I haven't been to the Rita Project yet so I don't have any pictures from it, but I promise as soon as I go I will take tons and tons and tons of pictures <3

Here's an outfit from a few weeks ago before I hacked my hair off.

Um don't you just love Robert? (the studdly man on my dress) Dress is from the Rose Bowl Flea Market, thigh garters from some lingerie store, and the creepers are from Little Monsters.

Oh, and I cut my hair because it was dead/Idk how to handle longish hair anymore.

I am now a 20's movie star. Wow this has been a really vain post so I'm going to stop now. Real cool updates soon though ~

vampires like to neck!

Today I learned that I can't seem to take a decent outfit picture of myself unless I'm making an incredibly dumb face with an incredibly weird stance.

black sweater - mom's.
shirt/dress - f21
bandeau - american apparel
skirt - goodwill

rosebowl flea market

rosebowl flea market

the internet.

Oddly enough as the year is starting to creep into fall, it's been getting hotter and hotter and I just can't wait for it to be October so I can taste the crispy cryptic air and wear beanies and cute scarves and fat funny sweaters. I need spooky vibes with friends and ghouls. I can't wait for Hallowe'en, although I still have no clue as to what I want to be.!

Also, I'm more frightened than excited for the next few months to come because of the fact that I'll be applying for REAL ADULT COLLEGES very, very, very soon! This is a scary thought and my anticipation has been drawn from more nervous roots than thrilled ones. We'll see how this changes in the next few months.

Anyways, it's almost fall but I don't care because pastels have been a current obsession for myself and many others and I will wear them even if the colors red, brown, and orange take over this season!

Ah, and those shoes! I love them, they are so dear to me. They will forever remain dear to me, they're my babies. I will cradle them to sleep each night and sing them a lullaby. I love these shoes, basically... I mean, they're clear, I can wear cute ass socks with them, how much more awesome can they get aside from the fact that they unfortunately steam up inside and make it seem like my feet are really sweaty? Even though they're not.

Well that's all, so long. Please help me come up with Hallowe'en costume ideas!!! (My hair will probably still be pink around this time)

solidarity

I've been trying really hard to compose a well-written post about my experience at CSSSA but it's been taking too damn long and I've been getting distracted. So here's a post about clothes instead. I went to the discount center yesterday and got a few really nice things for only under $30, I was ecstatic. I thought I was going to reach at least $50, but then I remembered I wasn't at Goodwill and therefore the clothes were cheaper. Here they are. 

A babydoll dress! And it's a pastel too, so that's a plus. It's really fucking short and it sort of looks like lingerie on me, but that's okay. 

Another babydoll dress. This one reminds me of a my little pony picnic blanket.  It looks boring in this picture but it is really flattering for da curvy ladies <3 aka me.

Lately I've been really into lingerie-looking garments, so I was really into this  when I found it in the racks. I love the little  flower at the peak, it reminds me of little girls' underwear.

Another thing I've also been obsessing over lately: plaid. Mostly in skirts, but when I found this blouse and tried it on, it made me feel extremely """hot""". There's something so dangerously appealing to me about tight crop tops with a catholic school girl's skirt fabric.

It's like being a surfer bro on acid when I'm wearing this. (Not that I've ever surfed or have been on acid.)

Definitely going to make turtle neck sleeveless tops ALL THE RAGE this fall, yeah. But I just really like this color/fabric
<3

I've been loving my body more and more lately and although my stretch marks and cellulite still bother me quite a lot, I'm slowly starting to try and rock it the ugly parts. Or at least, the parts that I find ugly. It's not easy for me to fully accept that my appearance is beautiful and to devote myself to loving and treating my body as a temple. This is a hard obstacle for me, it always has been. But today I felt pretty, and goddamnit I was. 

Collar: DIY ; Dress: Discount Center ; Socks: Stepdad's ; Shoes: Little Monsterz

Orange victory tolls feat. my room.

mickey d's and f21

Although it's still been pretty damn difficult for me to adjust being here at home after spending a month long in YOOTHTOPIA, I actually had a pretty decent Sunday spend with some friends. I got to get dressed and had my makeup done by the wonderful Joana. We strolled around town-- McDonald's, the mall-- to have fun for a small photo shoot. Here are some pictures...

Me being super suave.

Literally a Covergirl ad.

Fast food and gossip.

<3 Forever 21.

Me being a sassy teen.

I never thought I'd enjoy a day at the mall so fondly as I had on Sunday. I've somehow adapted the mindset that malls/department stores/all retail corporations are EVIL and POISONOUS. (I had a really frustrating experience at a Walmart one or two or five times and I really fucking hate that place.) But I still enjoyed myself and oddly enough, I enjoyed the stares we were getting from strangers because we were "dressed up" and we looked "our of sorts." A few days ago I read Arabelle's (Fashion Pirate) reply to another post by a girl I do not follow, about how this "weird girl trope" is becoming a means to identify what a smart, creative, funny, empowering female looks like. Arabelle basically defended herself by simply saying that she doesn't feel the need to validate herself and the choices she makes towards her appearance, and that how she chooses to look is an intimate form of her own interpretation of self expression. I've been at a loss. I agree with both of these ladies. I do look like what a feminist today, or on the internet, would look like. I carry that appearance, this "weird girl" obsession. I've started to question myself lately, wondering whether I look the way I do as a crutch to mask myself from being read easily by those around me. Or if I truly am invested in this new way that I'm expressing myself and that I just so happen to be drawing inspiration from this erupting new circle of feminists... I don't know. I don't want to be directed to look a certain way in order to be deemed as "creative, smart, funny, empowering," but I also don't want to look like/be like what everyone expects me to look/be. I am very conflicted.

a hair history.

The very first time I EVER dyed my whole head an unnatural color. I believe this was some time over a year ago? It was supposed to be dark blue and came out horrifically wrong-- you can't really tell here, and got worse and worse as the days went on.

So once it faded out, ridiculously, I redyed it a tealish color. Which was pretty nice for a while!!!

Ugh I dyed my hair a really ugly purple last summer. It was horrible. I hated it. Don't want to talk about it.

So I quit being an entire head of unnatural hair for a while because the fading out process was very, very irritating and I went... brown and orange??? I had been wanting to go orange for a very long time and I pictured it differently sooooo, it was.. okay. This orange color was the best though. It was my first time using Directions and sadly it went too soon </3

Manic Panic Electric Banana was SUCH a cool color. I think I'd do it again, except this time I'd curse the people who called me highlighter head. Whatevs. It faded to a really nice yellow too... and this was around Halloween time! So perfect. I miss you.

I was just completely brunette for a few months after electric banana and then I turned into this. I actually think this might be one of my favorite hair color combos. Red Wine and Plum. IT FADED SO NICELY, not all hair colors fade nicely for me! I am so eternally grateful. Too bad the red was a bitch to bleach out. Wah.

The bleaching aftermath of the red/purple.

It was supposed to be sea foam green and sky blue!!!! But pastels do not want to work with me so this didn't last very long. Plus my hair looked uber dead.

Me, now. Hi.

have love will travel

There is approximately 8 more school days left til' summer, then I am free. I am a bit sad to say though, that I've officially given up on working in school. I'm perfectly fine with this.

Anyways, here's an outfit from a few days ago.

• cute plum hat - discount center
• yellow top - discount center
• gray skirt - target
• best shoes ever - the homie rudy 

i apologize for the weird face. bye!