Tuesday, August 28, 2012


I've been trying really hard to compose a well-written post about my experience at CSSSA but it's been taking too damn long and I've been getting distracted. So here's a post about clothes instead. I went to the discount center yesterday and got a few really nice things for only under $30, I was ecstatic. I thought I was going to reach at least $50, but then I remembered I wasn't at Goodwill and therefore the clothes were cheaper. Here they are. 
A babydoll dress! And it's a pastel too, so that's a plus. It's really fucking short and it sort of looks like lingerie on me, but that's okay. 

Another babydoll dress. This one reminds me of a my little pony picnic blanket.  It looks boring in this picture but it is really flattering for da curvy ladies <3 aka me.
Lately I've been really into lingerie-looking garments, so I was really into this  when I found it in the racks. I love the little  flower at the peak, it reminds me of little girls' underwear.

Another thing I've also been obsessing over lately: plaid. Mostly in skirts, but when I found this blouse and tried it on, it made me feel extremely """hot""". There's something so dangerously appealing to me about tight crop tops with a catholic school girl's skirt fabric.

It's like being a surfer bro on acid when I'm wearing this. (Not that I've ever surfed or have been on acid.)

Definitely going to make turtle neck sleeveless tops ALL THE RAGE this fall, yeah. But I just really like this color/fabric

I've been loving my body more and more lately and although my stretch marks and cellulite still bother me quite a lot, I'm slowly starting to try and rock it the ugly parts. Or at least, the parts that I find ugly. It's not easy for me to fully accept that my appearance is beautiful and to devote myself to loving and treating my body as a temple. This is a hard obstacle for me, it always has been. But today I felt pretty, and goddamnit I was. 

Collar: DIY ; Dress: Discount Center ; Socks: Stepdad's ; Shoes: Little Monsterz

Orange victory tolls feat. my room.

Monday, August 27, 2012

mickey d's and f21

Although it's still been pretty damn difficult for me to adjust being here at home after spending a month long in YOOTHTOPIA, I actually had a pretty decent Sunday spend with some friends. I got to get dressed and had my makeup done by the wonderful Joana. We strolled around town-- McDonald's, the mall-- to have fun for a small photo shoot. Here are some pictures...

Me being super suave.

Literally a Covergirl ad.

Fast food and gossip.
<3 Forever 21.
Me being a sassy teen.

I never thought I'd enjoy a day at the mall so fondly as I had on Sunday. I've somehow adapted the mindset that malls/department stores/all retail corporations are EVIL and POISONOUS. (I had a really frustrating experience at a Walmart one or two or five times and I really fucking hate that place.) But I still enjoyed myself and oddly enough, I enjoyed the stares we were getting from strangers because we were "dressed up" and we looked "our of sorts." A few days ago I read Arabelle's (Fashion Pirate) reply to another post by a girl I do not follow, about how this "weird girl trope" is becoming a means to identify what a smart, creative, funny, empowering female looks like. Arabelle basically defended herself by simply saying that she doesn't feel the need to validate herself and the choices she makes towards her appearance, and that how she chooses to look is an intimate form of her own interpretation of self expression. I've been at a loss. I agree with both of these ladies. I do look like what a feminist today, or on the internet, would look like. I carry that appearance, this "weird girl" obsession. I've started to question myself lately, wondering whether I look the way I do as a crutch to mask myself from being read easily by those around me. Or if I truly am invested in this new way that I'm expressing myself and that I just so happen to be drawing inspiration from this erupting new circle of feminists... I don't know. I don't want to be directed to look a certain way in order to be deemed as "creative, smart, funny, empowering," but I also don't want to look like/be like what everyone expects me to look/be. I am very conflicted.